i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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