my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
