Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
