genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
