Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
