Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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