At least make sure they are 18
Why
zippers are such a cool invention
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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