Screwed.edu
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Im just a social blackout drinker.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
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