I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
