I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo