i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman