don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
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There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
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I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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