It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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