i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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