Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
