my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
