I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
last night I used snow as a chaser
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
