i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
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