Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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