What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
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