it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
