Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
