Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
