Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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