I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize