but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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