he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
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