Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
