I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
