The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
should my penis look like a turkey
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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