I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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