lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
