I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
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