I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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