first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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