covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
