at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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