she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
