Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night