Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?