White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I think I am morally bankrupt
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
27 Drunk People That Pissed Off The Cops And Got What They Deserved
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
These 25 Soulless Industries Have Been Scamming Us For Years
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.