i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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