I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
