I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
