At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
