I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I could make wine with my vomit
It was confusing and full of hummus
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
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I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
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Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.