At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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