My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
