I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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