At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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