Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
