none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
