bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
