i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
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