How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
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You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
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this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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