id be glad to
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
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