ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
