You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
