Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
the gays at disneyland are vicious
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
