if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
