no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize