Just fell off a train. Bad.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Randomize
